A DAY IN THE LIFE

Yesterday my day began with work. I showed up at the pools a little early and put on my pool renovations outfit (short-shorts hiked up really high, a t-shirt wrapped around my head covering everything except my eyes, and guitar sunglasses.) I then climb into a shelf and sat there until everybody else showed up. This is what happened when they arrived:

http://youtu.be/LmkbEZ7upd8

With pool renovations going on, the last couple of days have been all grinding, patching and painting. Yesterday was a painting day. We stopped for lunch at around 11:30 and fired up the barbeque. With lunch usually being cold sandwiches in a staff room filled with old people, burgers in the sun with all the other lifeguards is a pleasant change. We ran out of burgers quickly so we decided to take a gander through the staff room to see if we could top up our bellies with whatever they were having. We grabbed some potatoes and sat down inside to eat them. Just then a group of new staff were doing their orientation walk through the staff room. The only logical thing I could think of doing at that point was putting on my face turban and guitar sunglasses and just staring at them. The guy running the walk through didnt notice me, but everybody else definitely did. I could see people trying to look away and focus on the orietation that was going on, but it was a loosing battle for them.

After working in the sun all day, we needed a way to cool down. The reservoir near the resort seemed like the best way. It was so cold and refreshing, exactly what we all needed. I did a barrel roll and a gainer off the building. Tyson lost a bet and had to sit in the water for 10 minutes. Then we all threw rocks at a towel that I was holding and the rules were as follows:

1. Everybody (except me) gets to throw only one rock at the towel.
2. If you hit the towel I (Max) must lick a strangers elbow.
3. If you dont hit the towel, you must lick a strangers elbow.
4. If you hit me with a rock, you must lick a strangers face.

Two people missed the towel, two people hit the towel, and two people hit me.

Then we split into two teams. Team one was in charge of getting rifles and ammo, team two was in charge of going to the driving range and stealing a backpacks worth of golf balls. We all met back at the point and shot golf balls and guns off the edge into the slews. We also rode dirt bikes around. Go teams.

The day doesnt end there. We then went to a party to fulfill our elbow and face licking challenges from earlier that day. I got an elbow, while my room mate licked a guys face. For whatever reason, he chose a guy with huge arms. Goddam. He is still alive today, go room mate. Also at the party, we played a game called Indian-Inch. Its where you go around the party finishing peoples beer that they left sitting around. Its a great way to get very intoxicated for no money at all. It is also disgusting and socially unacceptable, #whateverfuck.